Musings (to be read as ramblings) in space

I think blogging has become so very popular because there is so much that we want to say but largely out of fear of some kind or another (in my case it is predominantly the fear of being quoted out of context *** will explain at the end of the post) we dont really want to share with the ppl that we 'actually' know. & Blogging permits anonymity.

A large part of me wishes that nobody ever reads my blogs... they are not written to be read they are written to express an emptiness. I know that this emptiness is an inherent flaw of mine..Not friends not marriage not children not parents... no one can really fill it up. & I have often found that expressing something painful can reduce its intensity... so by typing a few words in 'never never cyber space' I breath a few breaths not weighed down with heaviness.

But a small part of me also wishes that my blogs are read.... I cant really say why, maybe because of my instinctive desire to be 'on stage.' ...... Classic approach-approach conflict ehh...

*** Almost all the ppl I know including me have a tendancy of universalising something that is said - most ppl do not realise that nothing is final - e.g - I dont smoke generally but that in no way means that that I will never smoke or that I have never smoked... but if i said this to my family it wld be an all permanent thing..... There are times when I do not feel empty and times when I do... there are times when i really do not want to talk... none of these are all truth all false... they are just truth's or lies for the moment

.....Ik ajanabi jhonke ne puchaa, mere gham kaa sabab
saharaa ki bheegii ret maine likhaa.................awargi