Its a bit odd, but I still expect things from him & in some ways I am like more than a friend to him... Last week I bought some cosmetics for me. I have called him up twice for his sister's internship But then we also had an argument because i think it was very rude of him to not get time to call me once in a day because he was meeting his boss at home.
The problem is actually different. I am finding it different to deal with my expectations.... I mean why must he call me.... or vice versa... I am like that with most ppl, I try my hardest to control my expectations so the equations are safe. but once i cross the threshhold I find it very hard to come back. Also I absolutely hate ppl who cant keep commitments - if they say something they better do subject to extenuation circumstances & i hate being taken for granted.
Also other things in life are taking ona life of their own - i was talking for 20 mins to my bro after a few weeks & he sort of told me to buzz off in nice words. same thing happened this morning - this time he was more vocal & direct. That hurts - its not like i ask hours of my families time - honestly. I pray with all my heart that I can just stop talking... my father hates it too..... I wonder if i really talk too much.
Also its quite confusing, apparently my pa got me to this city so we could be together - what was all that about - either u hate my babbling or u do, I did not twist your hand to be here....... I am glad though I am enjoying work here ......
I wonder if vipasshana will help.... can i just stop speaking or will it kill moi? I cant spk to him, I cant spk to my family, my mum's current situation is quite painful for me to talk about it..... I love her lots & lots
Today was more rambling then ever before i guess..... I am also not looking forward to class too.......
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